My reply would have to be, “Nope, just older.”
My internal odometer rolled over this week, and while I was mulling over being one year closer to my next big milestone — 60 — my young colleagues were discussing a current fad and a topic of an upcoming feature, Pokémon GO.
Nothing really makes me feel older than hearing myself start a sentence with the words, “You kids today...” But that was exactly what I found myself saying.
In case you haven't heard of Pokémon GO, here's the skinny, thanks to Wikipedia:
“Pokémon GO is a free-to-play location-based, augmented reality game developed and published by Niantic for iOS and Android devices. It was initially released in selected countries in July 2016.”
Pokémon is a contraction of the Japanese term which means 'Pocket Monsters” and apparently in the Pokémon world people catch Pikachu creatures and train them to fight other Pokémon for sport.
“Pikachu are one of the most well-known varieties of Pokémon, largely because a Pikachu is a central character in the Pokémon anime (cartoon) series.”
Now you know as much as me about Pokémon GO.
Appar-ently the gist of this fad is you walk around with your cellphone looking for imaginary items and collecting them for imaginary rewards, which I guess isn't technically any sillier than any other hobby — and who knows, maybe there will be a professional league of Pokémon GO someday and people will become millionaires by walking around a course staring at their cellphones.
The plus of this particular cellphone app, which has reportedly been downloaded 75 million times, is that there is a fitness component to the game — kids have to go out into the real world to find their pots of poké salad or whatever it is they look for.
The negative side is apparently that people are playing the game when they shouldn't be — like while
driving a car.
For example, this week in Australia a 19-year-old driver crashed his car into a Melbourne school while playing Pokémon GO and driving.
“Any Pokeballs, eggs or potions the driver may have had remaining only attracted police,” Victoria police spokeswoman Julie-Anne Newman told The Guardian.
A government agency in Australia even introduced nearly 40 flashing road signs warning drivers “Don’t drive and Pokémon” a few days ago.
But the Pokémon isn't just a craze Down Under.
On July 21, a journalist was called out for playing Pokémon GO during a state department briefing a briefing on U.S. efforts to fight the Islamic State. Sadly, the reporter didn't get any points for his efforts, although he should have gotten a free trip to the unemployment office.
In Israel, A 35-year-old man sustained moderate injuries on Thursday morning after he crashed into glass in while hunting virtual characters.
According to the website, ynetnews.com, he had a broken leg and a deep gash wound. Paramedics who tended to the injured gamer said that the man was lying next to a glass door which had smashed.
Time.com reports that in California, two men had to be rescued after falling more than 40 feet from an ocean bluff while playing the game in San Diego.
The men, both in their early 20s, fell off the cliff after crossing into a fenced-off area in an attempt to catch digital monsters.
But it's not all car wrecks and pratfalls.
Time also notes that, not only are Pokemon GO players accidentally getting exercise, many are also accidentally meeting fellow enthusiasts and winding up on dates.
“It’s perfect as a dating game,” Karen North, professor of digital social media at the University of Southern California, told Wired.com. “You meet someone with a common interest, engage in that activity together, and get a new challenge for tomorrow and the next day.”
And finally, the Hillary Clinton campaign has been using Pokemon GO to bring in new voters by turning voter registration centers into “Pokéstops.”
Who knows where all this “hokey poké” will take us?
Maybe we'll all get lucky and a Pikachu will be elected president in November.
Randal Curtman is the managing editor of the El Dorado News-Times.