Janine Latus is a survivor.
The New York Times best-selling author was the keynote speaker at a fundraiser last week for Turning Point, a local nonprofit that educates individuals about domestic violence and provides support services for victims of domestic abuse.
Latus shared her personal history of abuse at the hands of strangers and intimate partners in a powerful message that provided insight into the mentality of domestic violence victims. She recounted how, growing up, her father didn’t respect her personal boundaries; how she was raped as a young adult; how she was held emotionally and financially hostage by a husband; and how her sister was murdered by a boyfriend.
“The opening edge of abusive relationships is people who make you feel small and awful, instead of helping you blossom into your fullest self,” she said. “Y’all know that you and your partner are pulling the same cart. You’re supposed to be partners: neither of you is supposed to dominate the other.”
Perhaps her most intense story is that of her sister, Amy, who was murdered by her partner, Ron Ball. A letter was found taped to the inside of Amy’s desk. The letter pointed to Ball as the suspect in her death.
“It was addressed to the local sheriff’s department, and it said: ‘If I am missing or dead, pick up Ron Ball,’” Latus said. “It included the sentence, ‘I hope one day to find this and think it’s funny. But if I don’t, don’t let him get away with it.’”
Latus, a journalist, turned her own experience with intimate partner violence to write the book “If I Am Missing or Dead: A Sister’s Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation.” She now travels across the world speaking to groups about the insidious nature of domestic abuse, providing insight into how abusive relationships begin and develop.
The event included red silhouettes around the room with stories of Arkansas women who were killed by intimate partners. Event organizer Cheryl Howell said Turning Point partnered with the Arkansas Council on Domestic Abuse to highlight how damaging domestic violence is in the state. In 2018, 44 women were killed by their partners in Arkansas.
“She delivers a pretty power-packed message,” Howell said. “Her focus is awareness and action, and that’s our message: to be aware. We have a responsibility to each other as a community to be aware of what’s going on around us. That’s Janine’s message, becoming action-oriented.”
Latus said community members can actively work to listen and support individuals in abusive relationships to provide them with the resources and strength to find freedom from those relationships.
“You don’t make fun of a man who cries. If a man can’t show any emotions other than anger, what choices does that man have?” she said. “If you make fun of people who are trying to get out of abusive relationships but keep going back, how is someone going to trust you when they’re finally ready to break free? You have to open up your heart and mind to hearing stories and letting those stories simply be true and not judge people.
“Otherwise, people aren’t going to talk to you, and if nobody’s talking, how are they going to reach out for help? If Amy had called us, we would have come, obviously. I’ll never know why she didn’t call us. In her journal, she wrote it was because she was ashamed. So lift all the shame off of people.”
Money raised at the event goes to support Turning Point’s work in Union County. The organization has an emergency shelter which offers case management, advocacy, referrals and support groups for individuals, who can stay up to 30 days, with possible extensions. The organization, which was founded in 1983, also provides a 24-7 hotline for crisis intervention (870-862-0929), support and referrals, children and youth programs, women’s outreach, emergency response teams and community education.