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Lion Oil stunned South Arkansas and the world on Wednesday with the announcement that their company will offer free gasoline for life to Union County residents.

The program is being called the “Lion Oil Promise.”

Soaring oil and fuel prices have driven the company’s profits so high that executives said it was a “no brainer to do something for the community that has made us who we are.”

Lion Oil Vice President Steve Cousins called the announcement “one of the proudest days of my life,” and added that “employees at Lion will staff all area gas stations and personally pump the first tank full for everyone in the county.”

There are no strings attached to be eligible for the free gasoline; however, to qualify for a lifetime supply you must be a life-long resident and native of Union County, company officials said.

Other residents will be be eligible for free gasoline based on the number of years they’ve lived in Union County. For example, residents who have lived here for one year as of Wednesday will receive one year’s supply of fuel, and so on.

When asked how the company plans to foot the gasoline bill for more than 25,000 people, Cousins smiled and said, “Profits. Plain and simple.”

Lion’s profits from gasoline have reached record levels, catapulting the company’s cash flows into the stratosphere. Estimates show the company’s current worth at more than $5 billion.

Also, Lion Oil’s exploration team recently discovered a 200-year-old Spanish ship full of gold off the coast of Guam, which Cousins refers to as his “little pot of honey.”

An estimated $1 billion worth of Spanish bouillon is on the ship. That money now belongs solely to Lion Oil.

“That ship really sunk this deal for us,” Cousins said. “After we received the $1 billion for all the gold, we knew we had enough cash flow to sign the checks for free gasoline.”

County residents will soon be mailed personal 14-carat gold-plated cards emblazoned with their names and the Lion Oil logo — the cards will be used the same way as credit cards, except these will only be good for fuel. Food and other products may not be purchased with them, Cousins said.

The cards are good at any fueling station in the world, he added.

After the announcement, El Dorado residents gushed about their forthcoming free gasoline.

Tonya Ward sat in her 2008 Hummer and smiled as she thought about how much money she’s going to save.

“I’ve lived here all my life, and I can’t wait to get this free fuel,” Ward said. “I get about 1 mile per gallon, so I’m gonna clean up.”

Other residents will clean up, too. Steve Sparky owns Sparky Custom Bikes in Junction City and plans to use his free gas card to fill up all of his chopper bikes — some 200 of them. “Yeah, we’ll be ridin’ everywhere this summer,” Sparky said as he sat saddled between the buffed black leather of his custom skull bike. “There are no limits now. No limits at all, thanks to Lion Oil.”

At least two area corporations followed Lion’s lead on Wednesday with announcements of their own, creating a domino effect of free goods for area residents.

El Dorado Paper Bag executives announced that each person in the county will receive free paper bags for life, and also cardboard boxes, if needed. There are no stipulations.

A company spokesman said that Lion Oil’s announcement prompted them to “do something to give back to the community.”

Unconfirmed reports from Murphy Oil Corporation at press time indicated that the company plans to roll out their “Koozie For Life” program, offering area residents free beverage koozies to keep their beer cold in time for Music Fest. The koozies will be emblazoned with the El Dorado Promise Logo, according to an anonymous source.

Boomtown Tower

Murphy CEO Claiborne Deming is getting pretty good at making stunning announcements. First the Murphy Promise, and now news that El Dorado will soon be home to the world’s tallest building.

Deming, flanked by executives from the multi-million dollar corporation, smiled and drew applause as he announced his company’s plans to construct a massive 150 story building dubbed “Boomtown Tower.” The building will be located in the center of downtown El Dorado, Deming said.

“What an exciting day for us; what a great day for El Dorado,” Deming told a crowd of more than 300 gathered on the steps of the Union County Courthouse, which will soon be torn down to make way for construction of the $5 billion Boomtown Tower.

Deming said the company has planned for some time to construct a large building that will “better represent” Murphy’s status in the oil and gas world. And what better time than now, when profits are high as a result of record oil prices, he said.

The first four floors of the tower will house a new Union County Courthouse, followed by 50 floors of apartments, condos and retail space. The remainder of the building will be dedicated to Murphy Oil and their worldwide operations.

The top five floors will feature penthouse suites for Deming and other high-level executives.

Deming said that with the El Dorado Promise, “enough interest has been generated from our other corporate offices throughout the world that they all want to move here to El Dorado, so that’s what we are doing.”

More than 4,000 of Murphy’s employees will relocate to El Dorado and live in Boomtown Tower, Deming said.

Connecting the tower with a major airport was a “huge concern” for company officials, so plans call for building a subway that will link Boomtown Tower with a new high speed rail system to be constructed between El Dorado and Dallas.

“This will really give us an international connection,” Deming said. “We can have our people depart a plane at Dallas Ft. Worth International Airport, board a high speed train, and be in El Dorado within two hours.”

News of the Boomtown Tower quickly spread around El Dorado and the world.

Union County Judge Bobby Edmonds, whose office will soon be reduced to rubble and temporarily relocated across town to the Union County Sheriff’s Office, called Deming’s announcement “remarkable.”

“We really don’t know what to make of this right now,” Edmonds said.

Of course Edmonds and the Union County Quorum Court must approve plans for the demolition and temporary relocation of the courthouse. But “that will not be a problem,” Edmonds said. “There is no way we would stand in the way of something this massive.”

Some aren’t as happy about Murphy’s plans for downtown. Prominent businessman and El Dorado City Council candidate Richard Mason said it’s an “outrage to rid the city of such a historical structure.”

Richard and his wife, Vertis, own many historic buildings in downtown El Dorado, including the Rialto Theater. Both attended Murphy’s press conference on Wednesday.

After Deming spoke, Vertis Mason approached the CEO and told him that he “should be ashamed of himself” for planning to locate the building in the center of downtown.

“Why can’t you build it on Peach Street at your current headquarters?” Mason quipped.

Deming replied, “You’re just jealous because our building will look better than anything else downtown, and because you won’t own it.”

The Masons said they may counter Deming’s construction plan with one of their own, although they did not cite specifics.

“Sure, we have our plans, and we will have our own announcement very soon,” Vertis Mason said. “Expect something really big.”

Demolition of the courthouse is scheduled to begin at the end of July, Deming said. All offices will be temporarily relocated to the Union County Sheriff’s Office. Murphy has purchased 20 portable trailers from FEMA, which are currently en route to Union County, to be used as office space there. Construction on Boomtown Tower will begin in mid-August.