Bark-upy UCAPS

Fed up with what they described as “human politics,” the animals of the Union County Animal Protection Society rose up Wednesday with a statement that they would no longer allow their affairs to be handled by “those damn two-leggeds.”

In a conference headed up by Kitty LeFleur, an orange tabby with a bum leg who has been waiting for five months for her forever home, the animals displayed their disgust with recent goings on at the UCAPS facility that have resulted in a terminated manager and a quarantined Cat House all in one fell swoop.

“Historically we have always entrusted our safety, security and welfare to the humans whose resources have long provided for our every need,” she said. “Little did we know how much human politicking would interfere with what we’ve come to know as our home.”

Police tape secured the facility Wednesday to a backdrop of visibly frustrated dogs and cats who arranged themselves in a stalwart wall around the building, blocking human entrance in a protest to the bickering that has recently surrounded what’s best for the animals.

Plans for self-funding through petting fairs where the animals “only give you the good half,” are currently underway, LeFleur said.

In other news, UCAPS board members spent the morning cleaning what areas of the facility they could reach outside the wall of animals for droppings also left behind in protest.