Trixie scares citizens into maintaining New Year’s resolutions

Aiming to assist the local populace with oft-forgotten New Year’s resolutions, the El Dorado Chamber of Commerce announced today a campaign to frighten citizens into keeping their promises to themselves for 2012 by depicting the jarring image of Trixie.

Posters presenting El Dorado’s citizenry with the face of 42-year-old chain-smoking, all-night-partying, over-eating, mass-drinking, cackling Trixie will be required every 100 feet across Union Square and throughout the Union County Courthouse as early as Jan. 2 following a vote by the Union County Quorum Court in mid-December.

The initiative was a joint proposal by Chamber President and CEO Henry Florsheim and Justice of the Peace Cecil Polk.

Polk, who has worked doggedly for the county to approve a more involved health insurance plan for county employees, said he wanted to public to become more conscious of the extreme side effects of tobacco, alcohol and over-eating.

“Sure, we could have showed a diseased pair of lungs, a scarred liver or the fatty tissue from the backside of a woman who long ago gave up going to the gym, but that just wasn’t enough,” he said. “On the other hand, it’s hard not to react when startled by the grotesquely lustful gaze of Trixie staring at you from her perch outside the courthouse.”

Florsheim said he was approached by Polk and several other local business owners who worried about helping their employees keep their New Year’s resolutions to quit smoking, cut back on alcohol-use or lose weight.

The project eventually evolved to include Trixie whose photo was selected from a pool of chain-smokers, alcohol-abusers and over-eaters, he explained, adding “but none of them hit quite as hard as Trixie.”

“When shown photos of diseased organs, a dead body or a simple warning, the populace didn’t react nearly as strongly as they did when encountered with the picture of Trixie smiling,” Florsheim said. “Hopefully this will help us reach those who haven’t yet been warned off with simple warnings on the products they over-use.”

Several members of the Chamber committee in charge of the selection process said the photo wasn’t extreme enough.

Veronica Creer shuddered as she studied the photo but said that the true ramifications of such lifestyle habits cannot be demonstrated by the face photo alone but need to made more obvious with the full-body bikini shot replete with Trixie’s stretched tattoos, flab and chest hair.

Others worried that the photo itself was too graphic for the large audience that drive, shop and eat in downtown El Dorado, expressing concern that small children thinking of taking up any one of the habits warned against might not only avoid smoking, drinking or over-eating but would be scarred for life.

“The effects of a lifetime of eating fast food for every meal, smoking three cartons a day and drinking a bottle of wine every night really hit home when looking at Trixie,” Creer countered. “I mean, what if that was someone you cared about?”

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One Response to Trixie scares citizens into maintaining New Year’s resolutions

  1. Rubi says:

    I want a recount of the votes for which picture to use! Mine should have one!

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