Local idiot loses millions by refusing moral reprehensibility

What can only be described as a moronic high moral fiber and an utter unwillingness to screw over those closest to him has caused an area man to lose out on an estimated $43 million in income throughout his 30-plus years of work, according to a study by the Arkansas Department of Workforce Services.

Coworkers and relatives have oft-wondered about El Dorado Idiot Harold Miller who has long refused to take part in dirty office politics nor scam aging family members for their remaining nickels and dimes at the end of each tax season. Reportedly, the imbecile even practices his rectitude before April 15 by not employing a CPA to hop around tax codes that could help boost him into the next tax bracket.

Steven Howard, a coworker whose shoddy presentations have been overcome by a sketchy business attitude and entirely reprehensible lifestyle that helped garner him a percentage of the $43 million lost by Miller while making righteous career decisions where he could have put the screws to a client, said he doesn’t understand why Miller doesn’t purge his tax records at the end of each year or pilfer work from the Internet to turn in as his own.

“But hey, it’s his funeral,” said the man, while buttoning the $400 cufflinks of his $2,500 suit and entering his 2012 Jaguar XKR-S.

“I’ll see y’all tomorrow, I’m off to dinner with the wife in Shreveport tonight,” he said, departing the office at 3:12 p.m. Tuesday.

For the three years he’s been with the company — compared to Miller’s 10 — Howard said he’s been promoted twice past Miller by simply stealing the hard working man’s work and passing it off as his own.

The dumb moron’s thoughtfulness in his work has also allegedly entered his personal life where he coaches Little League, donates to various charities and has taught his children to live by the same principles that have ensured the family will never enjoy a monetarily worry-free life.

Miller, the fool, explained that he grew up with the attitude of treating others the way he’d like to be treated.

Responded Howard, “When has that ever worked in the real world?”

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