Football challenge heats up

Smearing a line of black paint directly below his eye, former El Dorado Mayor Mike Dumas growled as he proclaimed that the coalition of the past would indeed prove victorious over the gaggle of new community leaders in today’s football game.

“We’re going to crush them!” he yelled in the locker room as he punched lockers, slapped behinds and kissed his lucky faberge egg for good luck.

When the pre-game ritual was completed after the men sung out the last harmonious line of Queen’s “We Are the Champions,” Dumas explained that the long-standing tradition of an oldies versus newbies football game has been put on hold for more than a decade due to the lengthy careers of the past community leaders.

“But now it’s time we put these new guys to shame!” he yelled as he ran out to the field, lofting his helmet above his head, leading along other first-stringers former Union County Judge Bobby Edmonds, former Union County Sheriff Ken Jones and former El Dorado Chamber of Commerce President and CEO Don Wales.

The men wore green and gold jerseys sporting their name, the Endzone Chasers, as they took to the field, a mask of menace on each players face.

A 5’7” build to new El Dorado Mayor Frank Hash’s 6’2” frame, Dumas snarled at his successor, telling him that he survived through the aquifer crisis, population loss and mounting landfill concerns over the past decade-plus — “you don’t scare me one bit,” he said.

In a blue and white jersey, signifying his membership of the new coalition of community leaders and the Monstars team, Hash attempted to keep a cool head and muttered aloud about the necessity to act as gentlemen even on the football field. However, he later whispered to new Union County Judge Mike Loftin that if he could survive the last election and runoff, he could certainly get through this one football game.

Standing eye to eye, Union County sheriffs Mike McGough and Ken Jones faced off as each acknowledged the others’ role as kicker in the game while deputies lining the sidelines shouted for their favorite sheriff. At the same time, a characteristically quiet Loftin squared up to his boss of 13 years as former Union County Judge Bobby Edmonds appeared nonchalant, shaking hands with every member of the opposing team, wishing them luck.

Former Chamber President Don Wales sized up the competition and as he waited for the clock to start he boasted his past experience, telling current Chamber President Henry Florsheim “You have no idea how much that office prepared me for this one game.”

He continued, “I survived Pilgrim’s Pride and Cooper for crying out loud!”

Florsheim taunted, “Oh yeah, well I’ve got Therma-Flite on the way, what now?!”

Second-stringers — Alderman Billy Blann, JP Steve Ward, Alderman Diane Hammond and JP Harrell Chandler — took to the bench screaming challenges across lines, promising beastly acts as soon as they could get themselves out onto the field, “where the real damage begins!” Hammond yelled.

“Oh go put on your cute, little cheerleader uniforms,” Ward yelled back.

All eyes pointed skyward as the coin was tossed and the Endzone Chasers were first given the ball. A shout rose from the crowd as all stood on tiptoes. Then EC Quarterback Dumas threw the football and in a rush of stampeding feet and chaos, the game began.

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