Between Editions

Hope everyone has a good one. See ya Monday.

I hate that it has come to this. An online forum about the Union County Circuit Clerk’s race between Paula Beard and incumbent Cheryl Cochran Wilson has turned into a mudslinging festival — not between the candidates themselves, but between their supporters.

Click here for access.

We fooled everyone pretty good with our first installment of “Satire Wednesday.” By now, hopefully everyone realizes that Murphy Oil isn’t planning to construct a 150 story building in downtown El Dorado.

The structure, however, is very real. But it’s being built a half a world away in the United Arab Emirates.

This stunning glass tower is called Burj Dubai, and will top out somewhere over 150 stories. The actual height is a closely guarded secret. Never before has such a tower been built, and if you’re anything like me and love architecture, it’s an exciting thing to see.

I thought that everyone might like to know the real story behind the fictional Boomtown Tower. So click here for Burj Dubai’s official web site.

**NOTE** The web site is graphics intensive and may take a while to load, especially if you are on a dial-up connection.

Tourism isn’t a word that’s normally associated with South Arkansas, but it’s an important part of our economy, as numbers from the state’s tourism office show. We’ll have an article in the South Arkansas Sunday News this Sunday demonstrating just how important tourism is here.

Next week, South Arkansas will host Arkansas Governor Mike Beebe and other guests as part of National Tourism Week. A special event will be held on Tuesday, May 12, at the Arkansas Welcome Center, 3315 Junction City Road. Barbecue will be provided by JJ’s; Chuck Dovish, of Traveling Arkansas fame, will be on hand signing autographs; and the state’s mobile tourism recreational vehicle will be there as well.

Beebe is scheduled to speak that evening at the Natural Resources Museum in Smackover. Hopefully these events will be very well attended. It’s important to show everyone in the state that South Arkansas can host (successfully) events like these. This is a good chance for us to shine.

It’s getting a little tiresome, all this political mumbo jumbo. Promises for this, pledges for that, but it all amounts to a bent fender on a ‘72 Buick. In other words, not worth much.

There is no way, for example, one particular candidate can change the way El Dorado does business, nor can they redirect tax money to a particular place. If elected, they can, of course, make suggestions, write proposals, and speak into their microphones at meetings in hopes that their ideas will pass muster.

It really bothers me how candidates have cute little tag lines like “I’ll change the world,” or “Vote for me because I’m the man who will bring you what you need.” These, of course, are facetious examples. I don’t want to single out any one person here.

Tip to politicians: Turn off the phony charm. Be real with voters. Don’t make promises you know are false and you know you can’t keep.

Instead of telling voters you will redirect something, say you will “work with other leaders to try and find a better formula.” At least that way you are covered. You can actually work with other leaders and try your best. You can’t do everything on your own, as your ads promise.

Another tip: No one wants to hear flowery superlatives in your speeches. They mean nothing. Adding that extra adverb just means that you spent time too much time writing your speech and not enough time figuring out how to better our state, county and city.

Keep it simple. Keep it real.

The National Weather Service has issued a Severe Thunderstorm Warning for Union County and Union Parish, La. from 9:43 p.m. until around 11:30 p.m. Union County is also in a tornado watch until around 3:30 a.m., according to KNOE Channel 8 News.

 Is it just me, or has our neck of the woods become way more of a shooting gallery for dangerous weather this spring? Look to your right for information on local weather developments.

 Be careful out there, folks…

Why can’t we think this progressive in America? Click here to learn how, in the dunescapes of the Middle East, people are working to create an ultra-modern city that will not use one drop of oil or gas.

This is how we have to start thinking, folks, if we are ever going to save the planet and loosen the noose that big oil companies have around our necks.

Photo credit: John Worthen.

It’s not every day that someone comes to our front door with catfish bigger than a grown man’s leg. This morning, Carlton Parnell of Farmerville, La., formerly of El Dorado, showed off these impressive Appaloosa catfish he caught today on D’Arbonne Lake. He used catfish traps.

The fish weigh in at 40 and 50 pounds, respectively. Nice job, Mr. Parnell.

The El Dorado Promise now has its own YouTube channel, promoting the program that gives a free college education to students from El Dorado High School. Click here for access.

I’m told that there will be video updates featuring promise-related material. There are just two videos on the site now, both featuring signing day — the day when 281 EHS students signed their letters of intent to attend college.

Lion Oil stunned South Arkansas and the world on Wednesday with the announcement that their company will offer free gasoline for life to Union County residents.

The program is being called the “Lion Oil Promise.”

Soaring oil and fuel prices have driven the company’s profits so high that executives said it was a “no brainer to do something for the community that has made us who we are.”

Lion Oil Vice President Steve Cousins called the announcement “one of the proudest days of my life,” and added that “employees at Lion will staff all area gas stations and personally pump the first tank full for everyone in the county.”

There are no strings attached to be eligible for the free gasoline; however, to qualify for a lifetime supply you must be a life-long resident and native of Union County, company officials said.

Other residents will be be eligible for free gasoline based on the number of years they’ve lived in Union County. For example, residents who have lived here for one year as of Wednesday will receive one year’s supply of fuel, and so on.

When asked how the company plans to foot the gasoline bill for more than 25,000 people, Cousins smiled and said, “Profits. Plain and simple.”

Lion’s profits from gasoline have reached record levels, catapulting the company’s cash flows into the stratosphere. Estimates show the company’s current worth at more than $5 billion.

Also, Lion Oil’s exploration team recently discovered a 200-year-old Spanish ship full of gold off the coast of Guam, which Cousins refers to as his “little pot of honey.”

An estimated $1 billion worth of Spanish bouillon is on the ship. That money now belongs solely to Lion Oil.

“That ship really sunk this deal for us,” Cousins said. “After we received the $1 billion for all the gold, we knew we had enough cash flow to sign the checks for free gasoline.”

County residents will soon be mailed personal 14-carat gold-plated cards emblazoned with their names and the Lion Oil logo — the cards will be used the same way as credit cards, except these will only be good for fuel. Food and other products may not be purchased with them, Cousins said.

The cards are good at any fueling station in the world, he added.

After the announcement, El Dorado residents gushed about their forthcoming free gasoline.

Tonya Ward sat in her 2008 Hummer and smiled as she thought about how much money she’s going to save.

“I’ve lived here all my life, and I can’t wait to get this free fuel,” Ward said. “I get about 1 mile per gallon, so I’m gonna clean up.”

Other residents will clean up, too. Steve Sparky owns Sparky Custom Bikes in Junction City and plans to use his free gas card to fill up all of his chopper bikes — some 200 of them. “Yeah, we’ll be ridin’ everywhere this summer,” Sparky said as he sat saddled between the buffed black leather of his custom skull bike. “There are no limits now. No limits at all, thanks to Lion Oil.”

At least two area corporations followed Lion’s lead on Wednesday with announcements of their own, creating a domino effect of free goods for area residents.

El Dorado Paper Bag executives announced that each person in the county will receive free paper bags for life, and also cardboard boxes, if needed. There are no stipulations.

A company spokesman said that Lion Oil’s announcement prompted them to “do something to give back to the community.”

Unconfirmed reports from Murphy Oil Corporation at press time indicated that the company plans to roll out their “Koozie For Life” program, offering area residents free beverage koozies to keep their beer cold in time for Music Fest. The koozies will be emblazoned with the El Dorado Promise Logo, according to an anonymous source.

According to a video piece on CNN.com, many drivers in the US are trading in their gas-guzzlers for older rides that get better mileage. Learn more here.

One Illinois man has such a love for Pabst Blue Ribbon beer that he commissioned a company to build him a coffin marked up as a can of the famous low-budget brew. The man isn’t sick and has no plans of dying soon, he just wanted something special made for when the time comes. Weird.

Click here for more.

The Chrysler Corporation has announced that customers who purchase one of their vehicles can receive a card that will lock in a gas price of $2.99 per gallon for three years. Sounds pretty good.

Click here for more.

Sorry for the sparse postings so far this week. It’s been pretty hectic. Know anything good? Please feel free to share it with us by clicking the comment box below.

Weather wise, today was horrific for Arkansas. Seven dead, scores more injured, and damage scattered throughout the state. Posts have been sparse today because I’ve been updating weather reports to give everyone the latest info as it becomes available.

It doesn’t appear that we will be seeing any significant weather today in Union County.

If you have something on your mind, feel free to let ‘er rip in the comment box below. This may be my last post of the day. In case it is, have a good weekend, and maybe I’ll see you at one of the many events going on this weekend in El Dorado.

Remember, the Mayhaw Festival will be held from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. tomorrow at the John Newton House, and Bugs, Bands & Bikes will be going on all day tomorrow downtown.